“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
— Ecclesiastes 3:1 (also known from The Byrds’ “Turn! Turn! Turn!”)
At some point, every family faces the season of planning for life’s final chapter. Many franchise owners of Amada Senior Care offices around the country have walked alongside our senior clients and their families as they approach these delicate conversations. One of the most important—and often avoided—topics is talking with aging parents about their funeral plans.
And yet, it’s something most people agree should happen. According to a 2022 survey by Ethos, one of the largest term life insurance providers in the U.S., 68% of Americans say discussing end-of-life preparations with loved ones is important—but only 47% have actually had that talk.
We get it. It’s emotional. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also an act of love.
When done with care, the end-of-life conversation can bring peace of mind, strengthen family bonds, and ensure your parents’ legacy is honored the way they would want. Here are our top tips to help you get started.
1. Start the Conversation Early
Don’t wait for a medical crisis or major event. The best time to talk is when your parents are healthy and clear-headed.
Use a natural segue like: “I went to a memorial recently, and it made me realize how important it is to plan ahead. Have you thought about what you’d want someday?”
2. Choose a Comfortable Time and Setting
This is a deeply personal topic. Find a quiet moment when you won’t be rushed—maybe over coffee, during a walk, or after a family dinner.
Avoid times of stress or large family gatherings unless everyone is ready for an open conversation.
3. Ask About Your Parents’ Preferences, Then Listen
It’s okay if they haven’t thought much about it. Be patient and let them express their thoughts and preferences in their own time.
Helpful questions to ask include:
- “Have you ever pictured what kind of service you’d like?”
- “Do you have a preference between burial and cremation?”
- “Is there a special place or tradition you’d want included?”
4. Talk Through Practical Details of Funeral Planning
Beyond the emotional side, logistics matter. Encourage your parents to share:
- Preferred funeral home
- Prepaid plans or burial insurance
- Obituary ideas or personal messages
- Key documents (wills, POA, life insurance)
The FTC’s Funeral Planning Checklist is a great, no-nonsense guide for families. AARP offers its 8 Tips for Funeral Planning as a decision-making guide. The non-profit Funeral Consumers Alliance educates on meaningful yet affordable after-death arrangements.
5. Encourage Documentation of Funeral Plans
Even if it’s just a handwritten note or planning worksheet, having wishes written down makes a huge difference. Ideally, these are stored in a secure but accessible place—and family members know where to find them.
Consider using secure online tools like Everplans or Cake to organize funeral plans, legal documents, and even digital legacies.
6. Revisit the After-Death Conversation with Aging Loved Ones
Think of this as an ongoing dialogue, not a one-and-done event. Your parents’ preferences may change, or they may need time to think things over. Keep the door open with love and patience.
7. Reassure Aging Parents with Compassion
Make sure your parents know why you’re having this conversation—it’s not about control or fear. It’s about love, dignity, and honoring their life in the way they would want.
You might say to your loved one: “We want to make sure things happen the way you want them to. This is about showing how much we care.”
Here for You as a Resource for the Senior Care Journey
At Amada Senior Care, we know this is one of the most personal conversations a family can have—and one of the most meaningful. As a non-medical home care provider, we don’t provide funeral or legal services, but our team is here to offer compassionate support, coordination, and resources as families navigate the senior care journey together.
Need help talking through next steps or connecting with trusted partners in funeral planning, elder law, or estate preparation? Reach out to us today. CLICK HERE to find an independently owned Amada Senior Care office near you.
